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Snake joke
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by yoyoing on January 21, 2010
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The following was shamelessly stolen from another forum. I don't know if jokes are copyrighted, but who would claim to be the author of this anyway?
There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't get them within two feet of each other. Frustrated, he called up the local zoologist, and explained the situation. She hurried over, picked up the snakes and looked at them.
"You know what I would do?" she said. "See that tree over there? Chop it down, chop off a good sized log, split the log in two, and make two tables out of them. Put the tables and the snakes into a cage, and let them go at it."
Well, the breeder thought that this was insane, but having no other options, he tried it. Sure enough, a few days later he had a whole slew of baby snakes. He called up the zoologist, and asked her how that was possible. She replied,
"Well, you see, those snakes were adders. And everybody knows that to get adders to multiply you need log tables."
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RE: Snake joke
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by FSB on January 22, 2010
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Aaaaauuuugh,that's bad... ok, turnabout's fairplay: Two herpetologists, one Russian, the other from Czechoslovakia, worked together in a lab studying pythons. One day, neither one showed up for dinner [or drinks at the pub], so the police were called. Upon searching the lab, detectives noticed that two enormous retics, one labeled "male," the other "female" each had a suspicious bulge. They killed and cut open the female and discovered the Russian. The first detective said to the second detective, "You know what this means, don't you?" The second detective looked puzzled and shook his head. "The Czech's in the male."
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RE: Snake joke
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by tigers9 on January 23, 2010
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one of the original versions, as always lawyer joke
<, Check is In the Mail Lawyer Joke
A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him.
One summer he invited a lawyer from the Czech Republic to visit. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spent a great deal of time exploring the woods and enjoying the natural setting.
One morning, as the lawyer and his Czech friend were walking through the woods, they were approached by two huge bears -a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
Seeing this, the lawyer ran to his Mercedes and sped for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed a high-powered rifle and they raced back to the berry patch. Luckily, the bears were still there.
"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing at the bear that had consumed his friend. "Quick - shoot it. Maybe we can still save my friend!"
The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. His aim was true, and the female bear collapsed to the ground. The startled male fled into the woods.
"Why did you do that?" demanded the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?
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