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This is FUNNY... I don't care who you are!
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by MoccasinMan on February 29, 2008
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I pulled this off the PARC listserve this AM... ENJOY...LOL!
Andrew
Someone on one of those field herping forums shared this story of the possible origins of the pythons in FL. I thought it was worthy of all of our attentions:
"Personally, I think that they started down there in the early 1970s when the military closed down "Project Squeezer" the top secret CIA study to determine if large pythons could be trained to swallow C-4 stuffed pig carcasses and then seek shelter inside NVA or VC constructed tunnel complexes where they would penetrate deeply inside the structure before timers detonated the explosives.
This program was funded under a "black" appropriation made to a research unit of the Army Veterinary Corps and involved the importation of several thousand adult molurus from Thailand, the majority of which were landed at Homestead AFB in Fairchild C-114 aircraft after being sent out of the USAF base at Takli, Thailand packed in refrigerated conex boxes which had originally contained food supplies for the base personnel and were being returned for reshipment. The snakes themselves were purchased by CIA field operatives throughout Thailand, Laos and Cambodia from indigenous peoples who were more than happy to exchange them for weapons and medical supplies. They were then transported to Takli aboard small "Air America" aircraft for export.
In 1971 this program came under scrutiny by Army command staff and was eventually disowned as "The stupidest GD idea that the Spooks have come up with since they tried to kill Fidel with an exploding cigar", as an unnamed General Officer put it, and the Army withdrew all support for the program and basically told the CIA they had 30 days to get out of Dodge. Undaunted, the CIA operatives in charge of the program attempted to salvage something from the years of effort and loaded the 728 snakes remaining in the facility (which was inside a public access forbidden area of ENP) onto a shrimp boat with the intent of transporting them to Cuba where they would be released into the sugar cane fields in the hope of forcing a general strike amongst cane workers in the 1972 harvest year and causing a serious rift in Soviet/Cuban relations. This ship was crewed by a small cadre of Cuban Exiles who had somehow managed to avoid deployment during the "Bay of Pigs" invasion and had since been inhabiting a CIA safe house in Coral Gables watching "I love Lucy" reruns and running the A/C on high.
Unfortunately, due to the influence of a strong current, a faulty navy compass and a half gallon of Bacardi Dark rum the boats skipper made a slight error in Navigation and what he thought was the NE corner of Cuba was actually the tip of the Florida peninsula. Regardless, they bravely fulfilled their mission to the best of their ability and all
727 snakes (minus one that the team leader kept for a pair of boots) slithered dutifully into the night to attain their place in history alongside the thermite toting bats of WW2 and the Navy's limpet mine carrying Dolphins that are still swimming around off San Diego (I'm NOT making this up).
Although it is impossible to verify, rumor has it that a couple of young graduate students who were involved in this project are still employed by the government and that part of their research involves keeping tabs on the errant population of freedom fighting pythons and their efforts to survive so far from the jungles they once called home.
In recent years the main thrust of their efforts have been to shift the blame for the introduction of the animals from the CIA unto the shoulders of private reptile hobbyists in the hope that no one will ever realize exactly how f'ed up the government actually is when it comes to doing anything useful.
I got this information from my step brother who was a USAF air policeman at Takli in 1969 and 70 and frequently spent his evenings drinking with a crew chief for a Air America "Otter" A/C and a air force commissary M/SGT who was responsible for delivering the conex containers to the Air America hanger where the snakes were loaded. He later was stationed at HAFB (1974 and 75) where he encountered the erstwhile Cuban shrimp boat commander who was working as a gardener at the base NCO club and was driven to comment on the exquisite Python skin boots that the man wore and ask where he might get a similar pair."
I'm sorry, but that was so funny I had to share it....
BH
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RE: This is FUNNY... I don't care who you are!
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by Aries54 on February 29, 2008
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OH MY GOD! LMAO! I mean,....where do I even begin???!!! Are you kidding me? I'm speachless......
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RE: This is FUNNY... I don't care who you are!
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by LarryDFishel on February 29, 2008
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Mark, I think I can safely say IT WAS A JOKE!
(If I'm reading your post wrong, I apologize in advance.)
Andrew, the reason I know this is a joke is because I was there they actually just strapped the C-4 to ferrets and let them go.
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RE: This is FUNNY... I don't care who you are!
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by MoccasinMan on February 29, 2008
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i agree... but a very clever joke. it is very well written and the author covered all his bases. he makes it just folksy and humorous enough to really pull you in.
BTW oorah Larry!
AW
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by Cro on February 29, 2008
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The story makes more sense than all those folks in Miami and S. Florida with unwanted pet pythons driving 50 to 100 miles out into the Glades to release their pets.
One also has to ask why the Glades are full of Burmese Pythons, and not African Rock Pythons, Reticulated Pythons, Australian Pythons, Ball Pythons, Blood Pythons, etc....... Wonder why no one ever bothered to release other types unwanted pets in the Everglades????????????? And why are the Glades not full of unwanted albino cobras, forest cobras, and all kinds of other exotic pet snakes.
The large number of "just" Burmese Pythons in the Glades would tend to suggest there is truth to the Burmese Python release story.
Sounds just like something the spooks would dream up.
Best Regards JohnZ
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RE: This is FUNNY... I don't care who you are!
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by LarryDFishel on February 29, 2008
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I'll give you a hint about what I think John...
You may have noted (or not) that there are no ALBINO burmese showing up there even though I bet they account for more than 50% of the ones in captivity today...
Also note that the snakes that turn up loose in neighborhoods (whether releases or escapes) are much more diverse, I would guess roughly proportional to what's being kept today.
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RE: This is FUNNY... I don't care who you are!
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by GREGLONGHURST on March 1, 2008
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There is at least one very large retic in the ENP. A tourist took a picture of it & sent it to the Park Service in an e-mail with locality & time info. I have seen the picture.
~~Greg~~
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